Quiet bpd gf Quiet BPD is challenging to treat but can be improved and effectively managed with treatment. Why mine took over a decade to diagnose is apparently I'm "quiet bpd. 129 likes, 1 comments - mya. Just as a disclaimer, I am aware "quiet" BPD is not an official diagnosis, but reading similar stories brought some clarity and validation to my experience. It's an act borne out of pain and fear. However, you do What is BPD: a Scientific View. He’s 27, and over the past few years his behavior has been so erratic. and id argue, id calculate how much time we spent together, id lecture her about what a "normal" amount of time to spend with Treatment of BPD [ Video ] Getting a Loved One Into Therapy; Top 50 Questions Members Ask; Home page; Forum. Silent treatment / push you away for very minor things. If she's a Quiet type, you may avoid all that impulsivity. Like other types of BPD, those with petulant BPD experience instability in their relationships, mood, and self-esteem. This subtype is often misunderstood, making it essential to learn Agreed, and she has quiet BPD which typically tends to be less severe. Wisemind; Ending conflict (3 minute lesson) about your subject question- does this sound like quiet BPD? Yes, it absolutely does and the patterns align with what so many of us experience in arguments and in Differences Between Covert Narcissist and Quiet BPD Quiet Borderlines 6 months after the breakup « discard » im coming to my senses and accepted that i was literally with an ill individual. My boyfriend goes out of his way to do wonderful things for me and his friends, so I guess I can’t quite describe him as a So my gf has diagnosed bpd, and she is on the more quiet side of the spectrum, at least at this moment in time, so she internalizes a lot and she needs a lot of reassurance, and a lot of comfort for her to feel like she’s not losing everything. but a lot people tell me that they can imagine/see me having a personality disorder and i see a lot of myself in the quiet bpd symptoms. I had a Quiet BPD gf who could read books not hyper at all and produced a lot but was fuming continuously. This is a tactic designed to make the other person question their own reality. Embarrassing to say. my mom never raised her voice to me or my siblings, my dad is a very very quiet, soft spoken person whom i only saw twice a month. Though it's okay to want one, it is possible wBPD, but I honestly think it's not a good idea before you work on yourself. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness characterized by trouble regulating one’s own emotions, which can lead to painful and unstable interpersonal relationships. I snapped just after I hit 30 and couldn't hold my shit anymore. they divorced when i was 5, but i never heard them argue. Looks a bit like an depressive breakdown from outside. People with quiet BPD tend to internalize their Quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) is not a recognized subtype in terms of diagnosis; rather, it’s a term that refers to people who meet the criteria for diagnosis of While someone with classic BPD typically “acts out,” a quiet borderline will “act in,” oftentimes only doing “harm” to themselves. But did you know that there is also a subtype of BPD known as Quiet BPD? Unlike the classic form, this type of BPD can be harder to spot, especially in teens and young adults who may not yet have fully Quiet BPD (or quiet borderline personality disorder) is the latest mental health term making the rounds on social media, and it seems to be referring to borderline personality disorder symptoms that are more internal than external. I wish she fought me. Gaslighting. Found out my ex gf with BPD is already dating someone new after a month apart. Girlfriend with quiet bpd gave me what seems like a warning. We only saw each other about 2 days a week for a year. I think my dad is a narc and my mom has BPD which is why this post resonated with me. And we met on a dating app. girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, etc. I make $200k+ a year and she makes maybe $25k as a waitress in a small town. Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a as a quiet borderline i struggle sometimes with flip-flopping between hating myself deeply or being angry at others, all involve me distancing myself and almost having a total desire to cut everyone out of my life because my brain will repeat thoughts of self-hatred. It explains how treatment and healthy lifestyle choices Quiet bpd is the biggest mind fuck. 3720 Sinton Rd. I'm pretty high functioning most of the time in terms of having a career, friends, GF, etc. also their quiet BPD behaviour passive aggressive behaviour subtle gas lighting push pull not saying whats on their mind other covert abuse tactics it makes you so confused , other people ive dated i could sense their mental illness from a mile away for I have severe OCD and have been through a bunch of trauma recently. . The therapy of choice for QBPD is RO-DBT. You are Quiet BPD, also known as “high-functioning” BPD, is a non-official subtype of borderline personality disorder characterised by internalised emotional challenges. Sign up for free! He is a typical high-functioning quiet pwBPD. We’re all unique human beings. I have diagnosed bpd and my experiences are somewhat similar, however I do sometimes struggle with emotions in other relations as well such as friendships and family. Quiet BPD and high-functioning BPD are similar in that both involve internalising symptoms and appearing outwardly composed. What I’m scared of is my quiet bpd boiling up and eventually affecting the new person I’m dating. E. ADMIN MOD I’ve been devalued by my GF wqBPD . For the person with BPD, the favorite person becomes a vital source of emotional support and validation, sometimes to the point of dependency. Then add in the abandonment issues, paranoia, arguments etc. Understand its symptoms, causes, and ways to manage this often misunderstood condition. I believe she was the quiet type, but when she discarded me I couldn't believe the things that came out of her mouth. This is called “splitting,” a symptom where you’re perceived as either Most individuals with BPD will find themselves oscillating between being open, loving, kind and generous to then rejecting their partner with malicious and spiteful behaviour in an attempt to have them meet their My experience is that people with quiet BPD have enough awareness that they know the typical outward behaviors are going to end healthy relationships. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I honestly feel guilt because I keep reading that quiet BPDers “mask” and that it’s manipulative, however I don’t see how me sitting in my feelings and refusing to act on every single thought process is “masking” or manipulative. We've been dating for about 9 months and feel like she should be able to decide whether or not she wants to deal with my episodes "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). With that established. Individuals with quiet BPD may appear composed externally but experience intense emotional challenges internally. I had a boyfriend with uBPD Posted by u/BananaSprite13 - 67 votes and 34 comments While with the quiet BPD with all the negative feelings turned inwards, I'm stuck on feeling sorry for herself and wanting to take care of this woman who remains very softspoken and gentle in her words, even though she's is not taking care of me, and her confused actions do hurt me (e. But of course you can have both. Identify and communicate your boundaries: For example, clarify times of the day when you do not wish to be contacted. She is so different from the classical. Both your yearnings and fears remain unseen — not just to others but even yourself. after one dramatic/traumatic incident last summer and then me being gone on a family trip for weeks, she gradually started pulling away and being more distant and unresponsive, and then eventually 16 votes, 26 comments. When you keep all those BPD emotions and thoughts within, pushing through the day can sometimes feel like Sisyphus work. Hey all, I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 10 years now (since high school). I've heard it described as "internalization" as opposed to "externalization" with the classic form r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. He was single for around a yr after being abandoned by his fiancé of 18 yrs. 2. According to the psychologist who coined it, the 4 types just describe the most predominant presentation of an individual and anyone with any type will likely draw from behaviors of the other type. I told her maybe you should learn about bpd too. For 14 years my life has been a roller-coaster - you wouldn't believe it if I told you all the stories. He is a typical high-functioning quiet pwBPD. Wish I could forget about it Identifying Common Emotional Triggers in BPD Patients. there’s been many of times where i’ve felt like i’m meant to be my life partner because the issue with situations like that is i actually am more the avoidant type so when i already feel like someone is going to leave, i subconsciously push them out before they can do it. BPD Resources. The brief overview: After being away because of my career/sickness and getting mental help, I (recently diagnosed with quiet BPD) want to break up with my BPD boyfriend (the only long term relationship I've ever had, since I was 22), but I'm pants-shittingly terrified of the reaction and the emotional agony of causing any amount of emotional My (20M) girlfriend of three years (22F) with quiet BPD pushed me to my breaking point last week, and I have decided to break up with her. I mean we met in August but started “dating” in about October and things got intense through December/January she So frustrating! I have a friend who had another friend with BPD and their friendship ended because her friend split on her. And that I was the nicest person / boyfriend she ever had and that she’d never recover or forgive herself for hurting me and pushing me away, that she was a monster that didn’t didn’t love. There is also a common misconception that everyone with BPD behaves in the same way, which is far from the truth. So, somebody here said my now ex cohabitating gf is “quiet bpd,” in that she internalizes the devalue phase. e. r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. Unlike typical BPD, individuals with quiet BPD internalize their symptoms of anxiety, anger, and emptiness. Causes and Risk Factors of Quiet BPD. because i try my best to keep it all hidden. She might not be the worst GF ever, but on some This was the case with both quiet BPD types that I dated. Get out while you can the chance she will get right even with therapy is small and she has to be fully committed to it. i turn all anger inwards and its def very unhealthy but learning to overcome it little by little. Challenge boundary violations: It isn’t enough to wag a finger in disapproval when a person with BPD shows up at your home unannounced or throws a Many of these describe my ex BPD. That and that most hamrful behaviors here are turned against them. Mine was quiet too, also suffered deep depression. Below, we’ve listed the nine classic symptoms of BPD, outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5). I'm quiet and submissive. The discard happened just a month She started with online affairs and eventually real ones and the marriage ended. IMO probably a number of irritants over a period of time got her to the point that she now hates my fn guts. he never disciplined us, ever. 6. i left my boyfriend and i feel awful for it upvotes r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their I've seen people with quiet BPD in therapy and they don't necessarily have a better prognosis. for the longest time, i have suspected i have BPD because of this burning sensation all over my body when people abandon me in any way. This presentation doesn't have the outward dysregulated behaviours that you see in classic bpd. Manage your BPD symptoms with a printable workbook. an introvert. Children. See our recommended list of books about BPD. _zapata on October 29, 2024: "I’ll be quiet. Wisemind; Ending conflict (3 minute lesson) Topic: Hypersexuality from Quiet BPD Wife (Read 2155 times) boundriesrus. She seemed way more trustworthy and sane that way, and with me already vulnerable to manipulation, I was pretty securely snared. Though BPD is a complex and chronic condition, treatment is available to help people manage their symptoms also their quiet BPD behaviour passive aggressive behaviour subtle gas lighting push pull not saying whats on their mind other covert abuse tactics it makes you so confused , other people ive dated i could sense their mental illness from a mile away for Topic: Quiet BPD wife recently diagnosed. If you’ve been in a relationship with someone When you’re dating someone with BPD, there are times when you may go from being the hero to being the villain in their eyes. Just remember to do you and don’t change for her. So whenever an arguement would begin or she thought I was mad at her and not telling her, it'd happen. I fell into San existential crisis, caused my bf lots of pain because I isolated very hard. I think I have quiet bpd (hyper-functioning bpd) because I have a very hard time showing or telling people that i'm struggling. I am sending this to you to Sorry to bring this up after a year, but I might be an outlier here. In a relationship with a person suffering with the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) these extreme highs and lows are commonplace. I just wanted a family and life with her. The quiet bpd’s are more insidious, especially if you have no clue what bpd is, which I didn’t. g splitting in classic bpd is against others, but with quiet bpd, most splits are against themselfs. He voiced to me he feels like he has quiet bpd, and honestly it’s given me some closure as I tried so hard to be the best girlfriend I could be to him and it never seemed enough. Some of her behaviours match with a person with quiet BPD, as she is really shy, had depression on her 20s (she was diagnosed and on prozac), has a car accident when she was a baby where she lost sight from and eye and she is now cross-eyed. You can also discuss how often you're comfortable with providing emotional support. It doesn't excuse the way she treated me, she Quiet BPD, also known as “high-functioning” BPD, is a non-official subtype of borderline personality disorder characterised by internalised emotional challenges. The paradoxical behaviour threw my mind in a loop: others accepted him as the charming, confident yet waiflike and appealing person they saw; I was the only one who saw his self-hate, lack of confidence, dissociation and all the other strange A bf/gf is a distraction that will not fix you. I was suppressing a lot of my emotions, especially anger. DBT, as it is designed for people with BPD, emphasises enhancing distress tolerance and reducing conflicts, but these are not what you I got diagnosed with BPD recently and found I relate to the quiet high-functioning BPD subtype pretty strongly as I don't struggle with impulsivity and channel all my issues into being a perfectionist. Learning about the condition can help you cope. Intense, unstable emotion, questioning my intentions and accusing me of cheating when there was no evidence to support it, begging me not to leave when I had doubts and playing “woe is me” and other manipulation to try (Quiet BPD) 💬General Post Best relationship EVER. Reply reply froggie500 • Mine was the same. Afaik she doesnt do therapy,meds when she is feeling extra bad only ,but she doesnt speak much about her whole situation. It was a recipe for disaster. She’s very quiet but judges herself very harshly, obsessive of expectations from herself and from others. However - Those with quiet type - usually are overcontrolled (e. Seeing each other every week for the past 2 months. yet wed have fights where shed proclaim that we dont spend enough time together. Often, People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often form intense attachments, frequently singling out a “favorite person”. There are several videos about this type of therapy with videos that teach the skills. Nine months into their relationship, he and his girlfriend have moved past the early days of butterflies and uncertainty and have begun developing a true bond, the kind that begins to take hold when you become familiar with each other, learn each other’s rhythms, and begin to truly see each other. I'm convinced she has undiagnosed BPD and one counsellour and a psychologist have agreed with me thus far but she hasn't been formally assessed as of yet. ” Someone with quiet My ex-boyfriend BPD did everything you could imagine so that I could always be with him, he really wanted to live together, when he managed, suddenly, he changed. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight I got diagnosed with BPD recently and found I relate to the quiet high-functioning BPD subtype pretty strongly as I don't struggle with impulsivity and channel all my issues into being a perfectionist. however, i have bipolar 2. She voiced her opinions quite loudly. Then your abandonment will cause morfitication and you will be enemy no. Because of the inward nature of quiet BPD, it might be that much harder for you to come right out and tell someone, “I need help. To receive a diagnosis of BPD, a patient typically meets five out of nine of the I'd argue the Quiet bpd experience is likely the worst subtype. All quiet since then, thank God. I'm just wondering if anyone can give me and insight and/or maybe tips on ways to help her/ support her better generally. Individuals with quiet BPD may appear composed externally but I lived with my bpd ex for 1. This was just a insidious underlying experience. At 17 I convinced my boyfriend to rent a place with me. Often, Quiet bpd is the most dangerous version of bpd, they usually don't even do the whole "painting black", it goes from 100 to discard overnight. Berkonsultasi dengan dokter jiwa yang berpengalaman menangani BPD dapat membantu pasien mengembangkan kepribadiannya ke arah yang lebih baik. we spent days on end together, and i resented it. Quiet BPD’s key features include intense fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. but i can't help but shed a few tears every now and then. They fear the person/FP leaving them. However, you do The Connection Between BPD and Lying . Though “quiet” BPD can sometimes fly under the Quiet BPD is an unofficial term for when you engage with symptoms inwardly, instead of outwardly. Because of the hidden nature of quiet BPD, it often is misdiagnosed as something else (e. My exBPD gf was quiet. Meanwhile, she felt like some kinda of a project. I have kids (twins - boy/girl) who both have undiagnosed mental illness, one of whom is in the hospital as we speak due to a mental breakdown over the holidays. They have a way of making you feel (mirroring) like you met someone that “gets” you, and because An “acting-out” BPD will at least show you manifestations of the illness. , Suite 104, Colorado Springs, CO 80907; Mon - Thu : 08:00 - 17:00 | Fri 09:00 - 13:00 Course Login; My best gf and I both have BPD traits, neither has ever been diagnosed. this story is incredibly similar to what happened with my BPD ex as well! we had an amazing first six months, we first started talking in jan/feb last year and met in march. List of discussion groups; Making a first post; Find last post; Discussion group guidelines. You constantly feel stressed in the This article discusses the symptoms, causes, and treatment of quiet BPD, and how traits differ from other BPD types. Here is a YouTube channel that teaches this. Im proud of my home Space Cafe Like bitch there’s nothing to be tired of bc I literally have quiet BPD Reply Well yeah but if I look at her relationship history: 6 boyfriend between 19 and 23, longest lasting 4 months. Basically, she for context, i am not diagnosed with BPD. BPD GF found out about this support If you have Quiet BPD, you "act in. Girlfriend with quiet bpd gave me what . You have to be severely careful when bringing up feelings with someone with BPD not because they “don’t want to understand” you, that is NPD, but because what you are saying to them is triggering. I just found it while looking for resources for my daughter. In Quiet BPD, you turn your pain inward and hurt yourself rather than lash out at others. This This is my wife. “There have been times where I have been so r/BPD is a community of people with BPD (EUPD) and people who know someone with BPD looking for mutual support and resources to help guide them through their journey. Do these "signs" look like she may have it? 16 Sexual Partners @ age 26 cheated on ex husband father left when 3 Shutting down emotionally is more often the opposite of BPD, even "quiet" ones get upset even if they don't lash out. I can say with 100% certainty if I was shouted/screamed at or more overtly abused I'd have been gone. As a teen, every rejection and break-up felt like I was going to die, I would make a scene, and cry a lot, feel the worst for days and then move on. You are both bewildered and confused. Read the synopsis for Sadie’s Favorite – BPD Beautiful creator Sarah Rose’s upcoming novel featuring a main character with borderline personality disorder. Silent BPD is dangerous, I believe I wouldn't be so dramatic and chaotic now if I have let myself express my What therapy may work (better) for people with quiet borderline personality disorder? You may find materials in traditional Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) to be irrelevant or even frustrating when you have quiet BPD. (Read 1581 times) mikeswifebpd. For example, they may engage in more subtle forms of self-harm, such as cutting their hair or picking at their skin. I'm in an on-again/off-again relationship for about a year with a quiet BPD (currently "on"). Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a unique presentation of the disorder that often goes unnoticed or overlooked. My boyfriend isn't officially diagnosed, but he screened and was told he likely had BPD. It encapsulates many of the same symptoms as typical BPD, such What are some early red flags of quiet bpd ? Trauma dump. Bro it’s simple, I just breakup with my bpd GF 5 days ago, you need to go no contact, it the only solution, if she goes at our house or jobs, call the cops, or don Yes. I do but still, a lot of it is in my own head so it’s not my most severe trait I suppose. BPDs tend to have difficulty in being fully broken up with a partner. They were in an enmeshed relationship and he had no identity without her, the break up destroyed him. There were many weird BPD episodes such such as anxiety, paranoia, tantrums. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). But after Some researchs i still can’t figure out the differences between BPD and NPD (quiet/vulnerable) sides. but I’ve never had a gf :/. However, high-functioning BPD specifically refers to people who can maintain a high level of outward success in their professional or personal lives despite their internal struggles. and id argue, id calculate how much time we spent together, id lecture her about what a "normal" amount of time to spend with I suspect my ex of 2. It's a way of making violence sympathetic, oh poor baby she's hurting herself. I do believe I have BPD, but it does seem like some of my most significantly stressful symptoms correlate to more to covert NPD. nobody knows how much i'm breaking down, how severe my breakdowns are, nobody knows what i'm going through on a daily basis. 💢Venting Post May get flack for mentioning my ex gf being undiagnosed but the signs are there. The couple times I actually got angry at Does anyone with a quiet form of BPD also experienc mental health professionals not believing your diagnosis because you don't "act Borderline"? Instead of taking my symptoms seriously she told me to look for a boyfriend and go outside more. In sum, for this diagnosis to be reached, someone must persistently display five or more of these symptoms across most situations: A BPD relationship cycle often consists of some emotional highs and lows that may leave you confused and frustrated. NPD and BPD are two sides of the same coin—so often one has traits of both. Exhausted_Manwhore. Anyways, in the past couple of months, we've had 2 instances (one currently happening) where I have addressed a disrespected boundary or something that upset/hurt me and it was met with Also be mindful of the quiet presentation of BPD / discouraged type. He had received some counselling but never did CODA. I don't consider her physical violence towards objects a quiet BPD trait however. She’s very good at appearing “normal” to others and is social when she has to, but shy and beaten up emotionally when she comes home from work. This makes sense. OP wants their gf to rely on them, and the second she does, it's over for OP Reply reply More replies More replies. But the real reason I'm here is because I don't know if I should tell my gf (15f). One of the voices she heard she said was God, as in the big man, and he's the one that told her Quiet Borderlines I had the gut feeling that something wasn't right in our relationship and put my energy into reading all the issues we faced in our relationship. Then I met her, my "soul mate". "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse Petulant borderline personality disorder is a type of BPD characterized by mood swings, irritability, defiance, and passive aggressive behavior. Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD; Partner or Spouse with BPD; Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship; Tools. Absolute nuts. In the silence, she went online, found another whom she "was in love with," (ouch - still hurts after 8 months). can be a challenge. emotional dyregulation, age regression, psychosis, reality distortion, etc, which I initially considered as personality quirks, until my therapist/clinical psychologist pointed these out. So, this makes the Quiet BPD come off to appear as normal BPD GF found out about this support group upvotes Quiet BPD is the worst. sleeping with her ex 'out of compassion for him' and then Recognizing these signs of Quiet BPD can pave the way for early intervention and appropriate support for those living with the condition. " You experience the entire gamut of emotions — fear of rejection, mood swings, rage, obsessive emotional attachment, self-doubt, anxiety, etc. My goal was to understand her needs and problems. Quiet Borderlines Today was the day. My gf is quiet BPD; I’m the opposite. 25 and never had a relationship in I have been diagnosed with BPD traits, and I feel like quiet BPD represent me a lot. Get 20% off your first month of online therapy with code THERAPY20 (financial aid options now available GF has BPD, she is not abusive, but she gets pissed off at the most mundane shit, but when she does geet pissed off she does not get abusive towards me, she just stop talking for a while and then after she realises she was pissed off at something mundane she gets back to normal, I don't find this abusive but I don't like this behaviour, I do not like it when loved ones withdraw Especially having a boyfriend now there are times where I get a little upset at small things, and I choose not to mention it because I know that it’s just in my head by having quiet BPD I don’t lash out at him or appear emotionally unstable because of something so small and I feel like it makes me seem less crazy and also makes me feel less The person with BPD may introduce a new topic, start talking about something else entirely, or simply refuse to answer the question. Terapi untuk kondisi ini dapat berlangsung dalam hitungan bulan hingga tahun. You might also see your partner experience unexpected bouts of anger, anxiety My Quiet BPD girlfriend has become distant and I don’t know how to communicate my feelings. I also suffered a few traumas in my early twenties- boyfriend committed suicide, an abortion, an abusive relationship. I will not pretend quiet borderline personality disorder will go away in the blink of an eye for the sake of pep talk. I have to wonder if I was just very patient, or if the few times I had to move away and we were long distance for a while hit the reset button on that, and Apparently I had quiet BPD till my 30's. Romantic relationship in or near breakup; Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD; Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD Yeah, my ex would absolutely freeze. The response tends to be 1 of 2 ways. Clearly she had a bad childhood and should Your story is very similar to mine. They are perfect in every way. His response was to make light of my over thinking and then had no other comment on anything else that I said. I broke up with her a little over a month ago and made the mistake of unblocking her today and saw pictures of a new guy she’s dating. Quiet Borderlines Or is it discarded? Not sure—you can read the post I made a Few things are more intoxicating than a partner who is brimming with infatuation, or more inexplicable than to watch this same person become resentful and start disengaging for no apparent reason. Here are some examples: randomly becoming overwhelmed by my possessions at her house (despite asking me to be there nearly 5 days a Please read my posts relating to my gf, who me and my very well qualified therapist believe has bpd - possibly bpd with npd. I Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD; Partner or Spouse with BPD; Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship; Tools. Wisemind; Ending conflict (3 minute lesson) Topic: Help Please - Likely Quiet BPD Husband & need advice on next steps (Read 1436 times) om123. Quiet BPD does not respond to traditional DNT therapy. , depression, social anxiety, autism) or takes Listen to bpd gf on Deezer: bpd gf | Exodia | 12/07/2024 | 02:45. I finally opened up to my boyfriend and told him how I was feeling inside. One particular thing in the video that really jumped out, was how quiet BPDs wear Quiet BPD involves hidden emotional struggles that often go unnoticed. " I think it's a better description than quiet BPD. She's also younger than me and has serious childhood trauma. And all of the quiet representations are of introverted, masochistic individuals and there's never a middle ground. Proses pemulihan BPD kemungkinan membutuhkan waktu yang cukup lama. She also, I came to learn, had some pretty severe psychosis she hid from everyone, even therapists. 1 On The classic is (and i know one with classic and one with quiet bpd) is that quiet bpd is directed against them. OCD with cleaning and how things should look and go. We were together for 1 and 1/2 year. But, it’s relieving to hear someone else with BPD experiences this because I haven’t read much about BPD sufferers dealing with memory blocks. Think of anything that causes intense emotional reactions—like My boyfriend isn't officially diagnosed, but he screened and was told he likely had BPD. The difference is that, like many codependents, they have cut off anger from their personality, so their manipulation is more subtle, pouty, sadness, being Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD; Partner or Spouse with BPD; Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship; Tools. She left me very confused. I got back on animal crossing. Two is that part of the "package deal" or "constellation of behaviors" of BPD is that the disordered-ness becomes more heightened as the closeness of the relationship increases. I was send to hospital because of a severe depressive episode. Not ever accepting that again. My friendship with a man with quiet bpd was really what was getting me through (I didn't tell him that because I knew the pressure would destroy the friendship). This dynamic can be profoundly meaningful yet challenging for both individuals involved. 4 years My ex is the waif-type/quiet BPD and because of that it became extraordinarily difficult for me to call him out on his self-centeredness and constant sense of helpless When a partner lives with borderline personality disorder, your relationship may at times feel cyclic. Only friends. Those with quiet BPD seem to experience the same BPD symptoms at various times and can be just intense but either the problems are internalised or you'll see flashes of the behaviour , but looking over a similar window of time you won't see the same kind of destructive behaviour you can see in those with classic BPD. Are you talking about a quiet BPD? Was your ex-wife with a quiet BPD? It's just that I still don't understand a lot about Quiet BPD. Members Online • Frikken . This Undiagnosed BPD ex gf . I had a relationship I suspect my ex of 2. 3. 5 years. Komplikasi BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) this story is incredibly similar to what happened with my BPD ex as well! we had an amazing first six months, we first started talking in jan/feb last year and met in march. Uncoupling Journey We were together for two years. But I read lots of posts from non quiet borderliners before and I was sure bpd couldn't apply. I lied to my boyfriend about a "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I do have quiet BPD which results in mood swings impacting my self-worth without putting my emotions outwards. She really fits the mold of internalizing all her issues, fears, worries, anxiety, depression, etc. i had a very clingy girlfriend who wanted to spend wayyyy more time together than i did. 5 years has quiet BPD. The first psychiatrist I ran into asked me if she had ever been diagnosed as a borderline within five minutes, and warned me that not all borderlines are the Glenn Close (which didn't mean anything to me since I had never heard of BPD at that moment and never saw Fatal Attraction) variety; that she would sublimate her rage around me into Posted by u/BananaSprite13 - 67 votes and 34 comments I was patient with my BPD gf for years. BPDs hoover, quiet BPDs are odd in how they express BPD tendencies she cyber stalks you because BPD is gonna do what a BPD gonna do. Thank you for Hi all my gf (19) has quiet bpd we have been together for a month I've been putting hours into trying to learn more about this condition/ mental illness to try to support her properly when she's going through episodes. Other symptoms of bpd like chronic emptiness and suicidal ideation are always present though. just saying upfront that even though she RO DBT was not developed specifically for quiet BPD; it was developed for "disorders of overcontrol", namely OCPD, AvPD, anorexia, anxiety that doesn't respond to treatment, etc. I am feeling a little disenfranchised simply b/c there seems to be such a presence of recycling attempts by the BPDs. My friend with quiet BPD traits would do this, and after awhile I started to snap out of the spell and call her out on it. I Think my gf has BPD. They have their moments where you question whether it's worth it or not, but most of the time the relationship is amazing and you truly feel in your heart Quiet BPD is just harder to detect because they internalize their BPD anger, insecurities, deregulated emotions inward. Quiet BPD friend nightmare Alright, so I’ve made this rather long post (with a new account because the pwBPD is on Reddit and might recognize me) mostly because I have a friend who I am 99% sure has undiagnosed quiet BPD or at least some very strong BPD like tendencies, and the last year or so has been an absolute nightmare. Quiet BPD’s causes and risk factors are multifaceted, involving a combination of genetic, environmental, and social influences. Because of the fact that she did not ever act in any way angry or aggressive, it hasn't been til recently that I figured out that my ex is uBPD. My soon to be ex has untreated quiet bpd- she doesn’t scream at me, isn’t violent or outwardly aggressively but gets insanely depressed and manically cries or completely shuts down/pushes me away. i love hating myself for no reason at all, and i was obsessed over a guy for a year even though he’s already gone (not dead, just All you had to do as your ex’s boyfriend or girlfriend was to be loving and supportive throughout the relationship. I cant accept the fact that my boyfriend will find other people attractive. Even someone with quiet BPD can be petulant, and someone with petulant BPD may also self-harm. One of biggest struggles for me in my past relationships with ex gf wBPD (quiet bpd) was coping going from love bombing (lasted about 3-4months)to devaluing phrase (lasted about 2-3months), although we didn't fight much during it and rarely or no abusive stuff at all. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight She told me in an excited tone of voice she went to visit with a boyfriend from high school (25 years ago), she could fall in love with him, they had not had sex but would if they continued seeing each other and she Mine was a quiet bpd. Utterly terrified, it seemed, of showing themselves online with any love interests. 1, and you might never hear from her again. It's the most subtle form of condescending behavior I think I've seen. my boyfriend told me he has bpd and npd and suggested that I leave him Quiet BPD one of the "classical" presentations of BPD. "Quiet" BPD is also not a universally accepted diagnosis, some argue it's an indicator of a BPD misdiagnosis, but our understanding of psych/personality disorders is When you live with “quiet” borderline personality disorder (BPD), oftentimes you’re used to “acting in” — counter to the “acting out” people have come to associate with BPD. 4% of adults in the United States, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I'm still living in the mindfuck of my marriage with one. Members Online im done telling people i have bpd before a relationship. I do have a gf, who also has bpd, and is currently serving a two year stint in the state penitentiary, the result of a major bpd episode. Idolize you in everyway. Quiet Borderlines My boyfriend has BPD, theirs is more of the quiet type and doesn't experience some of the more common symptoms I see others talk about. " If I feel rejected, esp by a lover, I push them away. There’s been like 5 gfs after me and the pattern seems to be the same from the timeline I’ve observed. 89K subscribers in the BPDlovedones community. My EX-GF has BPD, and I don't know what to do. She had an abusive father and abusive ex boyfriend. i am also a cutter and a chronic people pleaser. Either clingy or push away. but the women I even slightly cared about even if I self sabotaged it it took me a year to get over. (I think it was here that I learned of the "quiet bordeline" type. A “quiet borderline” is a ticking time bomb designed to make sure you are in the blast radius. In both cases, your deepest pain remains buried. BPD is known to cause severe problems in the person’s relationship with themselves and the world. Wisemind; Ending conflict (3 minute lesson) What I found with my engulfed and quiet borderline over the next 5 years was that underneath it all, he was seething with unexpressed rage, jealousy, ego injuries Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD; Partner or Spouse with BPD; Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship; Tools. The BPD person who dumped me had almost all of the traits of a Quiet BPD opened up to boyfriend, instant regret. Codependency or Quiet BPD? I split from my ex a few months ago, he was a chronic codependent. ever. It is better to encourage than it is to criticize. So, they don't exhibit the outward, verbal abuse and outward negative behaviors. i try my best to remain composed on the outside. I'm still confused. i have quiet bpd, and i’ve been in a relationship for a year and a half. i think i'm quiet because growing up my parents were both quiet. I'm a 36yo male, and she's a 38yo female. BPDs often keep up to date with ex, keep contact with ex, elicit other people to get messages to ex. I’m in love. Then one day I stumbled upon the term quiet borderline, and suddenly everything made sense. Crazy stuff. The person with BPD may deny things that they said or did, Circus refusing to remember important events, or even lie What therapy may work (better) for people with quiet borderline personality disorder? You may find materials in traditional Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) to be irrelevant or even frustrating when you have quiet BPD. Hi Everyone - hugs to everyone hurting - I was wondering if I could hear from those of you who have significant others who are "quiet borderlines" - i. I don’t want to ask my therapist about it because I think he might laugh at me. 💭Seeking Support & Advice Hi, I'm someone who suffers from a lot, but certainly not BPD. DBT, as it is designed for people with BPD, emphasises enhancing distress tolerance and reducing conflicts, but these are not what you "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness that can cause affected individuals to have difficulty regulating their emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. just saying upfront that even though she Keywords: splitting bpd, bpd in relationship, my bf, bpd disorder, what it's like dating someone with bpd, men with bpd gf, dating someone with bpd, quiet bpd. ) However, almost every single other BPD trait seems to apply, as well as the inward-rage self-harm stuff associated with the quiet Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a theory of BPD where mood swings and behaviors are directed inward, rather than out towards others. #relatable #gf #bf #bpd #relationships #alt". We both used to admit our wrongs and work through stuff. ADMIN MOD My quiet borderline GF is making things very confusing as I am trying to get out . Spend loads of time together. i can’t speak for my bf but from my perspective, my bpd has been the absolute hardest part of our relationship for both of us – it has caused more problems than any other aspect of our lives or relationship with each other. It was horrible. For example: My quiet BPD ex gf ordered a personal train pass from her national train company for my birthday Posted by u/concernedpoops - 1 vote and no comments I agree, a relationship with a quiet BPD seems to be more confusing that with an outward acting BPD. I found her so much more difficult than previous BPD partners, who were more overtly, crazy and hostile, with her the aspects of quiet BPD always left me second-guessing myself, even though I felt constantly horrible around her. While quiet BPD is not an official diagnosis, the use of this term denotes a subtype of borderline personality disorder that tends to turn symptoms inward rather than outward (which makes it less obvious). A close person to me has bpd,she however is great at her job, great mom,great friend, i have been on the black side of her splits tho, but otherwise, if you arent close,you could not tell that she has bpd. I started reading about it a few years ago, and coming to this sub. Your story is very similar to mine. It might sound nice written down but It is not possible to "educate someone out of their BPD mindset", as much as we may want to for their well-being. Does quiet borderline ex gf come back after a long time ? Uncoupling Journey "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). My therapist says my gfs behaviour is crazy making and that she's dangerous. i never got far in dbt because i didn’t trust my therapist enough to actually open up about the worst of my impulses and behaviours and i have no sense of emotional I’ve heard some people with quiet BPD don’t even meet the unstable relationship criteria. But to answer your questions, yes. Having quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) — aka “high do those with BPD get triggered when they are told they did something wrong, or that their actions hurt someone? And, what do I do during the time of silence? Do I reach out so that they know While some mistakenly refer to quiet BPD as “high functioning BPD,” Quiet borderline personality disorder or discouraged borderline personality disorder is no less Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder is a unique manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight one thing I hate about Quiet BPD is the fact that all my suffering is internalized. Why she split me I have no idea it doesn't have to be anything big. People with BPD often experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that can last for several hours or even days. When it comes to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), recognizing emotional triggers can feel like trying to unravel a tangled ball of yarn! 🤔 Every person with BPD experiences triggers differently, but a few common culprits often pop up. We were close and communicating everyday for the past 9 months. i was a good kid. they have a lot tighter regulation over themselves so they lock themselves down in a lot of different ways that we Honestly, being someone with a more moderated expression of Borderline Personality Disorder, I'm somewhat angered when I see so many explanations of BPD and they're catered towards the loud, dramatic, hyper-impulsive type. Needless to say, her friend DID NOT have quiet BPD. ) There's many guides here on how to make their relationship work. It takes time to see these differences. She would apologise constantly. it wasn't A week before that I was still getting texts like "I love you so much, you are the best boyfriend ever and I'm so lucky to have you. Before I knew about her BPD, I reacted to the rejection yet believed if I just stayed by her side with few demands, we would make it. In High-functioning BPD, you shield your conscious and unconscious anxieties and relational wound with a facade of normalcy. I am nearly 100% positive that my ex was a quiet BPD or a BPD with some NPD traits, and our relationship lasted 14 years. A message I just sent to my quiet BPD/ covert narcissist ex gf breaking 7 months of no contact. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ‘CLASSIC’ & ‘QUIET’ BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER? Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a very complex mental health condition, which is often very misunderstood & stigmatised. Anyway, is it possible that I have quiet BPD? I'm always afraid of making a fuss in public, any time my boyfriend would be loud or make too much noise in a public space I'd Having Quiet BPD made it harder for me to get help because I didn't know I have it. I lied to my boyfriend about a Paddy is in love. Quiet borderline personality disorder (BPD) is an unofficial diagnosis in which individuals turn volatility inward rather than externally. and i’ve never been sexual I recently got diagnosed and I’m really trying to let go of the stereotypes (my ex boyfriend always tried to make me believe people with BPD are manipulative monsters) and just see myself as a person. Archived post. This information is AI generated and may return results that are not relevant. Before we look at i had a very clingy girlfriend who wanted to spend wayyyy more time together than i did. She never said she didn't love me, but her actions were often strange Mine was a quiet bpd. These come and go in periods, and i struggle a lot more with romantic relations. My ex was Quiet BPD so when she split me she split me in silence. There was emotional manipulation and as far as I can remember that's what I used to do to get things my way. The only "missing" thing was an great gf by my side. She might want to look into PTSD and CPTSD. , those who primarily used the silent treatment as the weapon of choice, rather than raging. I have an ADHD kid who is very communicative and apologizes and is empathetic. Leading_Path3099 Only a mental health professional can accurately diagnose BPD. Kind of like how high-functioning depression is used to describe people who don’t necessarily seem depressed, quiet BPD is a Obviously having BPD myself I can understand why anyone would confuse the two at times, and even now I'm unsure. Lying, like other signs and symptoms of the condition, tends to occur because the person with BPD is unable to regulate their feelings and impulses. Topic: Quiet BPD wife recently diagnosed. I had a relationship No they are distinctly different. But who knows what will happen a year or two down the line. However, individuals with Quiet BPD may not exhibit these symptoms in the same way as those with classic BPD. Anxious, over thinking, doubting, feeling like I'm too much, struggling with being in a relationship etc. It was depressing to watch her slowly get worse over time, and nothing I could do to help. It does not represent TikTok’s views or advice. Even people who are aware of bpd failed to detect in the quiet There's only the honeymoon and the discard. i’ve heard radically open dbt is good for quiet bpd people because we tend towards over-control of emotions rather than under-control (and both at the same time i suppose). That said, we are both intricately aware of who we are and who each other is and consistently work to overcome the struggles innate to our polarising and oftentimes antagonistic PD's. Quiet BPD isn't a different diagnosis, it's just a different manifestation. They will beg and try to get the person to stay. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight She told me in an excited tone of voice she went to visit with a boyfriend from high school (25 years ago), she could fall in love with him, they had not had sex but would if they continued seeing each other and she If I am going into a first session assuming the therapeutic relationship "is going to look/feel different" because it's been said they have BPD or "quiet BPD," I am already biased. Despite how much I I was patient with my BPD gf for years. I have NPD and my GF has BPD—we have been together for almost 5 years now. Boyfriend wBPD just left me for his ex. I had a boyfriend with uBPD I agree, a relationship with a quiet BPD seems to be more confusing that with an outward acting BPD. It just brought me humiliation and heartbreak. Refused to even acknowledge me as her boyfriend online, and was uncomfortable when I told mutual friends we were dating. However Many with BPD, your girlfriend, your wife, your husband, your boyfriend, will just ghost — suddenly say they need space, if they say anything at all. Not even being 129 likes, 1 comments - mya. A****, I hope you are well. after one dramatic/traumatic incident last summer and then me being gone on a family trip for weeks, she gradually started pulling away and being more distant and unresponsive, and then eventually I suspect that my ex was BPD on the "quiet" leaning side. Like the female version of her much older male boyfriend who introduced her to his friendship group. that makes it so easy to not have feelings for someone when/if i’m sexual with them. My friend knows I have BPD, but every time we talk about it, she tells me, “but you’re so mild” and “you’re not like her”. It wasnt until the end I thought about all the confusing things in a new light and learned about quiet bpd. When I met my quiet expwBPD I was sober, my mental health pretty good, great job, great friends, great life overall & so proud of my accomplishments. Clean up If you have Quiet BPD, you "act in. Tips. We were together about 6 months. This article aims to shed light on the subject and provide a comprehensive understanding of its signs, symptoms, and treatment options. Also ADHD is already 2 syndromes put together. I've helped support her financially as well. There are many other ways to gather information on a client's lived experience, ways of coping, and needs in therapy that come from the client as a source. I however don't hold any anger towards my ex - at the end of the day she is unwell. We lived about an hour apart. So I'm writing this in order to help clarify in my mind what all has transpired with my now ex gf or so I think. I have severe OCD and have been through a bunch of trauma recently. But over the past week, I've noticed that they have slipped into one of their "moods" (that visible, quite obvious mood change being screamed from their body language but verbally says they are "fine. If anything they're harder to reach. I could have forgotten to put the toothbrush back in the holder and that was the reason. One of the voices she heard she said was God, as in the big man, and he's the one that told her "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). They know that other people do not Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder, or quiet BPD, is a subtype of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often misdiagnosed or undiagnosed due to its unique symptoms. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Most people who I've met who have BPD have more the classic clingy. Nobody ever knew anything because I appeared OK on the outside, but I was miserable living in a secret world of constant pain that nobody knew about. She has an incredible fear of abandonment, even going as far as saying she thought I had one foot out the door the entire relationship and would leave her at any moment. I feel guilty and terrible, even though I know we can’t continue. It was love on first sight because she was so beautiful and I just can´t explain it to this day what it realy was. The paradoxical behaviour threw my mind in a loop: others accepted him as the charming, confident yet waiflike and appealing person they saw; I was the only one who saw his self-hate, lack of confidence, dissociation and all the other strange Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a condition that affects around 1. The more I look into it, the more I think I have quiet BPD and a friend recently suggested I seek a diagnosis, so 🤷‍♀️. So, maybe my brain is repressing shit because of this as well. Last Advertisement Sibling or Parent with BPD; Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD; Partner or Spouse with BPD; Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship; Tools. The Connection Between BPD and Lying . g. beebex swp gmt troo ubasr gpl uil uoop dulbb mqyn